Saturday, September 3, 2011

'Blame' will destroy your relationships.

So-called emotional love is not real. In my life I find this love is a very challenging thing. It is because love is defined as an emotion, as a feeling, hence with the energetic rise and fall of emotions, love goes up and down. Along with it, happiness and suffering, joy and sorrow becomes the living reality. This why many couples fight, argue and get separated who once claimed to love each other but soon their love turned bitter and nasty. Emotions will rise and fall along with goes the ride of life never stable or steady.

Blame is a great love destroyer. Constant fault finding, blaming can destroy things. I mean WTF is Blame? Blame is  a discussion where the sole purpose is to find faults than to find agreements. Its often mixed with anger, hate, past memories, and not related to the present situation at hand, rather one is stuck in the mind pattern just to knock another down. Obviously, there are often real issues between any two people when they start living together. So how does one overcome blame? First make decision not to blame, second make decision to discuss matters respectfully, and listen to each other for the sole purpose of finding an agreement so that co-existence is possible and happy. What often happens is just one is blamed with utter nastiness and spite until the one simply cracks or becomes totally withdrawn.

I am more of a blamer, I find it within me that i will fault find for the sake of just knocking my wife off. I copied this pattern of blaming from my bad, the great master blamer. its fascinating how an exact copy of him, that i have become. I used to despise him for his blaming quality, now i do the exact same thing. This is called the sins of the fathers.

I am realizing that blame of any sort must stop. Instead find respectful means to discuss and reach agreements that are livable and practical. Beings i live with are myself, i am them, they are me, it just i cannot experience it as such. I have read in desteni materials that "what would do yo do, if you were the only BEING in existence, whom would do u blame". Very good question, the point is, everyone is LIFE, equal and one as life as me. I am everyone, realizing that come to support and assist each other, stop blame because blame destroys.

I am in the process of giving myself to me, I find the going is tough, I find i am often falling into old mind patterns, I continue to blame, fault find, and destroy things. Yet there is no other way, simply re-continue, re-start this process with self-forgiveness and self-honesty. There is no other way.

The fall is also a point of rise.

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