Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Too much sleeping? Don't rot away, arise in first breath.

I have been sleeping in lately, allowing and accepting myself to just stay in bed well after I have woken up. Those are the moments I have allowed and accepted myself to start the engine of thinking. Often I have noticed those moments set the tone for the day. Just lying and thinking, mostly thinking angry stuff. I have been sleeping in at least for one extra hour, this has been going on for a while. 


I justify that by saying 'oh well i went to bed late' etc. No such justification is acceptable to sloth in the bed well after waking up. First breath must get out of the bed. I know I have said those words before, yet I have allowed and accepted myself to stay put in the bed. Allowing and accepting laziness to breed. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep in.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep in even after I am fully awake. Just lying there. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay in bed so that I can start thinking, start the thinking machine. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that its ok to sleep in, not realizing extra sleep means more download of mind-consciousness-system. More crap gets into the mind. More crap to think about and feel about. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that extra sleeping is self-sabotage. because in doing so, i am allowing and accepting thinking machine to start the emotional process for the day. As I think I feel hence never in the physical but stuck in the head.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off things in my life because I have allowed myself to give priority for extra sleep. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wasted away in bed for extra one hour, whereas I can use that extra one hour to participate in my process, or do something physical instead of just loathing in bed.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mourn and regret sleeping in each day, and let my regret cause even more problems throughout the day. So no more regrets, no mourning, and no more sleeping in. Here I realize that in one breath I should jump out of the bed and walk out, and start my day. I mean anything is better than just lying in sloth and sleep. sleep is sloth after a while. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail in life because that is exactly what I have permit myself to do by sleeping extra. sleeping away in bed. kind of allowing myself rot in bed, that is what extra sleep is, rotten away. 


I am here, no regrets, no shame, here just practical and physical, and common sense, as I realize I am awake, i jump out and start my day. It is me who allow myself to sleep in, so it is me who must get myself out of the bed. Self movement, self awakening starts with simple things. 


Getting out of the bed in time is the first point to overcome in the day. I breathe here.


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