Wednesday, January 18, 2012

All it takes is one Breath.

A moment of pressure point got to me today, meaning, I wasn't breathing or return to breath with awareness. Instead I got caught in the drama and allowed and accepted myself to get sucked into the drama, and reacted sharply. All it takes is one breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself in a moment of madness. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself in one moment of mind and in that I have allowed and accepted myself to react sharply towards another being.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself believe that I was embarrassed by another when he started to blame me for things. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was embarrassed and therefore I believed that I have the right to knock down another by been mean and nasty in my reactions. a breath would have safe the day.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was accumulating thoughts about this person, and as I was accumulating judgments and thoughts about this person, I had compounded enough mind-energy towards this being, and all I needed was a moment of drama from his side for me to react sharply. Basically, I have been waiting for the moment to 'hit back'.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must 'speak out' with the being, or discuss the matters as they arise and not let them accumulate within me as thoughts and judgments.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide judgments about this person within me as thoughts and backchat. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak and gossip about this being placing him as a bad guy. I have constructed an image about him as this or that. which are judgments. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others and to their emotional patterns. I mean, I was only reacting to an emotional behavior of another being. 


Bring it all back to myself:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I do the exact same thing as this being. I bully, I judge, I blame, and I scold. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was reacting to the pattern of blame in that being, because that very pattern exists within me. So instead of just breathing and been Here, I went into blaming him within my mind as judgments, and in this, I created the drama for the sake of having a drama. An emotional blame drama. all of it could have been avoided just by breathing here, just been Here, just breathing and dealing with the actual physical facts here, not going into my mind stories. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize what happened today, I created it, though it looks conveniently easy to blame the other being for starting the drama. I created it because I started making mind stories about him already, so all I needed was one moment, one excuse to pounded back in spite. 


In breathing Here, I don't accumulate thoughts, and judgments, ideas and opinions about other beings, I am simply Here, dealing directly with physical matters or practical things are they arise. No emotions whatsoever. No mind projections whatsoever. No mind games whatsoever.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry stories about other beings within my mind. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak gossip about others within my mind. because I have nothing interesting to speak, so I gossip which is fun and exciting to my mind.


I stop gossip, I stop building stories within me about others, as and when I see myself building a story about another, I put a full stop immediately, because I realize otherwise things will compound, and it will only be matter of time before a drama manifest. 


Things are compounding for sure, one must face oneself, so it is better to face them here as breath, because it is in one breath madness can be prevented or compounded. 


I am breathing here, breath by breath. I breathe before I speak. I breathe before I ask or tell anything to anyone. I breathe here and not allow thoughts and feelings to accumulate. I know, they will accumulate if I don't stop at the very first drop. I breathe here.   


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Thanks.

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