I have been separating myself from everyone and everything, so this is a journey to end all separation by birthing myself as LIFE, equal and one to ALL here.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I fear Forgiving me because I fear changing me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my mind as thoughts emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my thoughts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my thoughts and emotions must be listened to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my thoughts emotions and feelings are not real. they are not life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life exist within my thoughts emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my thoughts emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the heaviness i feel within my chest area and believe it has all the power over me. not realizing, i am the only power there is.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i have given my power to my thoughts emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i am my own power unless i give it up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i have given up my power to things outside of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into sadness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power over to sadness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that during festival times i must have a 'good time'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i must never be alone. because if i am alone it means i am lost or lonely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the resistance of self forgiving me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still put off self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realizing that self forgiveness is a process i must work at it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am above and beyond self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find excuses to put off self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that somehow i am above self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still doubt about self forgiving me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still believe that i am unworthy of self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still doubt self forgiveness b'c i know i have to change i can't just do SF and keep on repeating my same old patterns. therefore i am self dishonest, b'c i have not taken the steps to change me yet, so i know sf is not working for me. and keep on putting off doing sf.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put of doing SF b'c i know it must be followed by solid actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off self forgiveness b'c i know SF will just be empty words if i don't follow up with physical actions. so might as well put off sf.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to almost fear doing sf b'c i know it must be followed by actions otherwise my sf will be invalidated and in that case i rather not do sf.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my egoic self.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go my emotional patterns.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my personality types.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like to hold onto my self and not change. in that i am invalidating my sf.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i must take solid practical steps to end my patterns. can't just do sf and hope things will be sunny and bright. no.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that doing sf will turn my life around, no, my life will turn around when i take steps to turn my life around. SF is not the power, I am the power here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off self forgiveness in the fear of changing myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that self change is not like moving a mountain, but a tinny step of breathing here in the physical. in that one breath, in that one eternal infinite moment here, my application as breath is all that needs for change. when i am here as in and out breath, i am then here totally entirely of me. not in the mind. that is where change begins. change happens in the breath here, not anywhere else.
when and as i feel powerless, i realize that i have given up my power to my mind and its bullshit. if i am simply here as breath, in the physical, then all is cool. its going into the mind the biggest problem. for me change is so hard b'c i am always in the head. so breathe, i take my power back to myself by breathing here as me.
just breathe here.
Join us:
http://www.desteni.co.za
http://www.destonians.com
http://www.equalmoney.org
Thanks.
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