I don't have a topic to write tonight.

Write every day, that's what daily writing means.


Some days I look for escapes, excuses to avoid writing just for a day, i will return tomorrow for daily writing, how ironic. So here I am, writing about resistance to write tonight.


Am I out of a topic tonight? No topic flows within me right now, nothing very specific, but that is OK, i can still write about 'not having a topic', see, there is always something to write about that which makes senses. There is always room for bullshit writing, which serves my ego, but that is utterly useless for myself and for anyone. I suppose there is a bit of physical tiredness at the moment, I just returned from the gym about 30 minutes ago, feeling a bit tired. Then again, that is a self imposed limitation, basically what i am suggesting is, because i came from the gym, i am unable to write tonight, or unable to find a reasonably good topic. So giving excuses again and again.


Death is a great topic, when nothing interesting comes up, i can always write about death. I mean death is common to all of us, each of us will face the music of death, god, what a relief, to end this bullshit capitalistic dog eat dog earthly living. Alas, i just said something i shouldn't have, i implied i am sick of living, which is not the case, i love living, i want to live, as i want to see the day when EMS is here, until then i want to live and NOT die.


There was a time in my life during which i very eagerly awaited death, i counted on death to come, as if i am waiting for the days of joy to come via death, perhaps i must have been very hopeless and fed up with life, so i sought solace in hoping and seeking an early death, though never intended it as a suicide, rather, just want death to come. Nowadays, since desteni.co.za i am loving my life, i want to live, i dont' want to die.


I want to see a fully functional EMS before I die. Yes many  people have that thing within wanting an early death to finish them off, either to get rid of their stresses or to get rid of their personal frustrations, yet not strong enough to commit suicide.


It just a background desire for an early death. Thank god i am done with such bullshit desires, now i want to live baby. I want to live my life to the fullest to see the day when Equal Money System will be here.


That's cool, so if anyone reading this and have subtle feelings to desiring for an early death, like a hidden wishful thought, i suggest you goto desteni.co.za and start applying self forgiveness. You will get rid off all those nasty emotions. You will start to LIVE.


Cool, that's it for tonight, see, there is always something to write about, "i dont' have topic tonight is a bullshit excuse".


Investigate us at www.desteni.co.za  and www.equalmoney.org