Cold snake

now millions of dead fishes found on some marina in USA. whats going on? first it was the bats were disappearing in NY, then millions of birds fell of the blue skies, and now the fishes are dying in mass numbers. Dooms day ? nay.

it is surely a time to wake up from the slumber of bullshit.

now what is that mean to me? i have to bring everything to self, to me, i have been a bit of a preacher in self writing. i like to preach like to tell other people how to live their lives. so in that i can avoid looking at me. preaching is a sure sign of self avoidance. so no more. let me look at me.

well a lot going on in my life these days. i am becoming very mean and nasty in anger these days. other day in an argument with my wife i called as 'cold snake'. not coo at all. just because she refuses to pay attention to me i have no right to call her such things out of anger. i cannot justify in any means to call any human such nasty words. 'cold snake'. no i am very sorry i said such, but henceforth, i will contain myself, i will never allow myself to be nasty and mean towards others. i will simply push myself to breath and remain here. yes, i can leave if things are not going as we would like to , but it gives me no right nor pleasure to call anyone such terrible names. would i like her to call me as a cold snake ?

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be nasty and mean justifying that it was my anger made me speak such.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be nasty and mean in my words towards others.
i stop the madness. i am here.