Breath is a Lifetime. This breath here is life.

again and again i have heard this line, 'breath by breath' live breath by breath. surely not doing so lead us to death, yes breath by breath. i mean you're going to die anyways, breathing or not breathing, you're going to die, the point is to live within the awareness of each breath. each breath is precious, could it be one breath is more important than the next breath ? each breath is equally important, teaching a lesson in equality, the equality of breaths. yet the quality of each breath is not equally recognized as awareness is not here, got stuck in the mind. hence, I hardly noticed even breathing, seems to happen so automatically.

No wonder i am a such an automatic finite state machine, very predictable, very programmable controllable, very untrustworthy, etc etc. all to do with not living as breath by breath, getting stuck in the mind, its delusions and illusions, emotions feelings and thoughts, ideas and beliefs, all put together to make one deadly nasty human robot, you never know what disaster is awaiting. of course, with money and sex anything can be shifted.

human is untrustworthy, that is the bottomline. anger rage, violence, bitterness, laziness, spite, revenge, gossip, backstabbing, procrastinating, blaming, debating, neglecting, uncaring, cruel, mean, nasty, jealous, vicious, lustful, cheating, lying, fear, pain, panic attacks, anxiety, nervousness, guilt, shame, regret, remorse, victimization, rape, irresponsible, filth, greedy, giving up, quiting, murderous, judgmental, wasteful, wow jesus that is a long list of human qualities. all thanks to not living as breath by breath.

in living each breath, i am giving myself the chance to transcend such qualities, that i have accepted and allowed within me as me. yes, i am the anger in me. i am the jealousy in me. i am equal and one to all such bullshit that exist within me. i mean, how can i be separate from them, they are within me after all.

self-forgiveness is the key to eradicate them, to see them for what they are, with total self honesty. so i must return to self-forgiveness, i have been lagging behind not applying self-forgiveness thinking and hoping that i am all ok. hoping self to be ok is another trap of ego, so yes time for a serious decision to apply self forgiveness for every point that i have been putting off.

i am here, breathing, breath by breath, self forgiving myself, giving myself to myself. i forgive me. i am here, i breathe. all this can be done in this breath, after all, one breath is a lifetime, life is one breath. so either live or die, all in just one breath, this breath, here now. this breath here is life.

2004 Tsunami collections by Redcross.

well collecting money during natural disasters is now a routine thing. during 2004 boxing day tsunami in south east asia, the red cross organization around world was able collect a hung sums, million of dollars.

one wonders how much exactly did the redcross collect? how was it spend ? what was the administrative cost ? what percentage of that actually went to luxury travels and hotels stays of redcross staff ? the real victims, how much did they receive in actual dollar figures ? donations and so called distributions to the victims is a huge scam. has the redcross ever published the figures in utter details including the big perks and salaries their bosses are making ?

i will never buy that UN christmas dolls that the UN volunteers sell during xmas. you have no idea how big those UN relief agencies bosses make, huge in fact. somehow the UN volunteers are doped to believe that they are doing a noble thing.

there is nothing noble about charity darling.